**************UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM FROM 5-20-13************************
I was thinking the other day...well about a lot of things, so forgive me if I run off here or there on tangents because really my thoughts were everywhere about this, which is why I decided to write about it.
Abby and I don't have an Amazing mother daughter relationship. I know she's only 4 (almost 5) and like any relationship it just needs time to grow and strengthen, but even considering, we just aren't super cozy bundles of sunshine and roses with each other. We love each other, very much. She tells me all the time that she loves me...I tell her all the time that I love her. We send each other notes, we give passing hugs and kisses, we snuggle up with a book....but ask her to help me do something she doesn't want to do? and the gloves are off and the power struggle begins. I think it has a lot to do with our similarities that cause us to butt heads.
So anyway, thinking about this the other day while I was driving and it hit me...NONE of the Princess movies we've seen show a good healthy Mother-Daughter relationship! Lets take a look:
Cinderella - mom is dead, step mom hates her and turns her into a servant
Snow White - mom is dead, step mom tries to kill her
Sleeping Beauty - mom sends her away to protect her, so fairies raise her.
Jasmine - mom is dead
Pocahontas- did she have a mother? I know she had Dad.
Belle - mom is dead
Gizelle (Enchanted) - No Parents!
Tiawna- oddly enough, she did have a pretty good relationship with mom...but it didn't show a lot.
Ariel - no mom
Mulan - while mom was there she did not play much of a role except getting her ready for her "test" in the beginning of the movie, the focus was more on Mulan and her dads relationship.
Rapunzel- her parents love her very much, but she was kidnapped as a baby by Mother Gothel and grows up believing MG is her real mother....now this one is one messed up example.
Merida- While I haven't actually seen this one yet, (Adam and Abby have) I hear that it does show struggle between mom and daughter. I'm sure I will see it and see a bit of the same pattern as above, if mom is in the picture, there is a struggle of some kind or she doesn't play a very big role in the story.
If you know me at all, you know that I've always struggled with the Rapunzel movie. Abby and I throughly enjoyed it,and it is among the top princess movies that play in our house. However the relationship between Rapunzel and Mother Gothel is pretty complicated, especially to my four year old and served as quite the hurdle to get over when we first brought the movie home and watched it. How do you explain to her that Rapunzels "mother" doesn't really love her? That when they say "I love you", "I love you more", "I love you most" and embrace in a tender moment hug that she's lying and is really the bad guy? Abby went through a phase (after seeing the movie and my explaining that MG is really the bad guy and lies to her about loving her) and called me "mother" for the longest time. I was afraid that she thought I was lying when I told her I loved her. We've had a few talks since then, reassuring her that I am not lying when I hug and kiss her and tell her I love her.
Where I'm going with this is, it occurred to me the other day while I was thinking about all of this that there aren't really any movies (or shows) that depict a healthy good mother daughter relationship or family dianamic! It makes me want to write Disney with a challenge....show me a movie that gives a good example of a WHOLE family (no dead relatives) that really love , respect, protect and support each other. (Instantly after reading that last sentence the Incredibles came to mind). Bigger challenge?? make it a princess movie! I recently saw a little video, I AM A PRINCESS . It was really good, a great message, and I hope that Abby gets all of that out of seeing these movies, but still, there's a lack of family structure that, I'm afraid, will leave our little princesses thinking that they have to be from a broken hurt home to become something special? I don't know. It's just an opinion. I'm sure there's a lot I've left out and haven't thought about.
We love the princess thing, obviously, have you seen my daughter? I also know that I can't leave it up to Disney to show her what a real (good) family looks like. I'm just thinkin'.
************UPDATE BELOW***************
I am so glad I came back through some of my posts and read this one. I wanted to take a moment and give Disney Props for the movie Brave. I finally have seen it (about a million times by now) and was so pleasantly surprised by the family dynamic change! Mom and Dad are married and from the booty pinches and snuggles, conversations, and support shown between them, they really seem to love each other! Dad's a bit of a doofus at some points giving Mom a stronger woman kind of roll, but otherwise, I am quite impressed with how the family is depicted in the story.
While there were other aspects of the movie I wasn't super amazed and keen on, the family message was a vast improvement. so there you have it. Disney, you have done something really good here. Lets keep moving in this direction. :)
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