I Hate Chores

I am one of those people that go from one extreme to the other. I can be either incredibly anal and organized and MUST have it a certain way and will freak out if anyone disrupts the flow and organization of...well everything (my diaper bag and purse, and the cabinet of kids dishes and the bookcases are main ones that I do hold onto. tightly), or I have let it go and am on the verge of a Hoarders episode (unfolded laundry, junk drawers, and *gulp* toys).
Obviously having 4 small children disrupts...well...all of that, so I try to loosen up a little bit and just not worry about it so much...and find myself on the "other end" of the spectrum. Maybe it is that I am busy with the littles that I don't have time to be anal about everything, or it is that I have an honest struggle with laziness. I hear it all the time "you have four kids!" "you are a busy mom", "don't feel like you have to worry so much about your house" and that just feeds the laziness, and I find myself not doing anything, even the basic upkeep of the house, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, then it all piles up and I about lose my mind feeling overwhelmed with "this damn pigsty we live in" ! I have struggled with this for years now. It's enough to send anyone crazy or into a downward spiral.
Well, here I am. Tired of starting an organizational project, to get half way through (with the help of small masters of distraction and destruction) and then being left with more of a mess than I anticipated in the first place and feeling totally buried with no hope of escape.
And oddly enough, no matter how hard I try to "blink it away" like Jeanie or escape it all together by "getting busy" and leaving the house, every time I open my eyes or come home, it is still there waiting for me to put it away and clean it up.
Now you might be reading this and thinking "dang, Bec, just ask for help". My response to that is, if you have kids, I'm not going to ask. The last thing I need is to double the kid count against me while I'm trying to accomplish a task. If you do not have kids, I am assuming you are working. You can't be two places at once. And if you fit somewhere in the middle, chances are I have asked and you just couldn't do it. See where I'm at here?
I do find great comfort in going into other peoples homes when they haven't had the time to clean...call me a weirdo, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone in this messy business of mom-hood. If I walk into a house that has small kids and it's totally clean and decluttered, I hear the lies whispering in my head that I am a failure at my own home. What are they doing? how do they do it? why can't I get off my own butt and do the same in my own home? FAIL!FAIL! FAIL!
I know that's a little extreme. I am also trying to find refuge in Gods word about this. What does the bible say? Of course I am immediately drawn to all of the Proverbs about Laziness, which makes me feel even worse about my struggle with wanting to curl up with my cup of coffee and computer or book (for two or three hours at a time) and avoid the house (and yes, at times, even the kids).  and of course the ultimate Proverbs 31 woman. I'd love to meet her, and after slapping her for setting the bar so stinkin' high, I'd like to follow her and see how she does it! Maybe learn a thing or two. (I sense what my next bible study will be). This would be a great time in my life to have a mentor friend that could come and get me motivated and hold me accountable, SHOW me how to get a handle on my house and get into a great routine that would help me get organized. Maybe I will add that to my prayer list.
God send me someone that can help me stay accountable for the daily routine of a stay at home mom, that will teach me the discipline of staying organized and keeping up with a routine, even when it's disrupted. Lord, help me get over my struggle with laziness and to find joy in my daily housekeeping. Help me find contentment in the home I am in until you provide us with the opportunity to own our own home.