just some thoughts

We are gathering supplies to make bags of goods for the homeless. I love this idea. Especially with the cold weather approaching, I can't imagine living in the conditions some people do. I love the idea of helping in any way I can. I may not be able to completely change their circumstances but if I can make it a little bit easier for someone for a day or two, I am happy to help.
As much as I like the idea of helping Baltimore, I am also a firm believer in helping out in my own back yard. I met a homeless couple a few months ago, and had a nice chat with them. I haven't really seen them since, but I do know they are locals, and have been for a quite a few years. I think of them often. Did they get the food they needed? Were they warm last night? I know I woke up freezing this morning because we hadn't turned the heat on last night. Imagine how cold they were!
I also think of a young man Adam and I met last year on the streets of Baltimore. We took the time to buy him a meal, chat with him about his situation, and pray with him. Again, we parted ways and never heard from him again. He was coming up on a court date. He didn't share specifics but did share that the outcome of that meeting would determine his next steps in life. I often think of how it went and where he possibly is now. Is he still on the streets? did he get the help he was needing?
I feel like these acts of kindness speak volumes to people in need. That someone stopped for just a moment in their busy lives and took time to acknowledge them, smile at them, help them just a little bit. It matters. A lot. But what if we took it a step further? What if our goal was not to just perform a random act of kindness to someone in need, but to follow up with them? What if we took the time to chat about where they are in life right now, what their needs are, and take a step to connect them with someone who can help or put what they need in those bags we are collecting for. Or invite them to church? How neat would it be to see the face of someone you helped on Wednesday night at church on Sunday getting a cup of coffee a plate of bagel chips and sitting in the warmth of Gods loving family hearing the good news and being loved right where they are in life?  No judgement. Just love.

What if by showing them Gods love through sharing our stuff (bags) and sharing our "home" (church) with them, they get help physically and spiritually and other doors of opportunity could be opened for bigger changes in their lives. Changes God has been working toward making.

THE BIG SHOE!

So while Millie Moo and I were adventuring in Colorado, we had the opportunity to get up entirely too early and drag our lazy not so morning person booties to a balloon festival.
There I was met with my first and only Dutch Brothers Coffee (Thank You Tyler, for looking out for my caffeinated needs). It was great if you're looking for a rapid sugar/caffeine buzzed high. Which is exactly what I needed for running my bronchitis-y, flat footed, sportless out of shape ass down that hill (twice) to get a shot of that balloon touching the water. Twice. Did I mention I was in the mountains with bronchitis? Yeah. Anyway:

This guy was NUTS! How do you fly without a basket?

and then DIP INTO THE FREEZING LAKE!?

Here you see the Sunshine balloon:

When I saw this I looked at my Uncle John who is irritatingly a morning person (yuck...morning people) and I told him "LOOK! THE SUN IS NOT UP YET! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING OUT OF BED!?"

Once the sun was "up" I gave him a big hug and said "GOOD MORNING!!"
It was funny, and probably irritated him, but that's okay, because that's what we do.

That was all fun and awesome, and honestly worth waking my sorry tired butt up for. It was a fantastic way to start our day.


Then, that night, when we went back for the glowing balloons, that is where the real memories happened.

Here they don't launch the balloons, they just count down and everyone fires off the balloons at once for an "All Glow" and it's a field of glowing balloons and It is BEAUTIFUL!


When we got to our spot to watch, we were down among the balloons and right next to a particular balloon. Millie was in the stroller and hadn't paid attention to where we were until the countdown for an all glow happened and the "KKSSSSHHHHHH" of the balloons firing off and the blast of heat hitting her face got her attention to where she looked up and saw a
GIANT...GLOWING....SHOE! which the wind caught a hold of and brought tilting right at us....

Needless to say the traumatized 2 year old  grabbed my face and with wide terrified eyes said in a controlled firm tone,

"WE GO HOME. RIGHT NOW....Mommy....HOME....HOME"

we stayed for a few more minutes then left for ice cream.  Every conversation after that went like this:

"What flavor ice cream do you have?"

"BIG SHOE. IT WAS HUGE. HUGE SHOE ALMOST GET ME. BIG. SHOE. IT WAS CREEPY."

"What color is your ice cream?"

"BIG SHOE!"

"How old are you Millie?"

"IT was HUGE! AND IT GET ME! THE BIG SHOE!"


For weeks. she still talks about the big balloon shoe. It sounds more now like a grand adventure she went on, not so much a terrified little kid that was traumatized for life...or at least for the night.

What better way to share this moment with Adam than revisit the big shoe...though it was not a balloon shoe, it was at a local farm and a slide, but when she saw it and immediately started with the "BIG SHOE" story, her little face was lit up in amazement that there was another one...and this one was PURPLE!

Going through adolescence and being a teenager has to be like being handed a transformer toy, without the instructions, and being told "okay, now transform this (vehicle) into it's robot form" and then walking away.

Some kids would get it a little easier than others. Some kids would struggle and get overwhelmed and confused.
"I know this thing is supposed to transform into a robot...but how do I get there?? what are the next moves? What is it going to look like?"

Isn't that true for transitioning from being a kid to being a teenager...soon to be grown up?
You know the end result is adult-hood but there really isn't instructions, your body, mind, emotions, hormones, everything is going caraaazay! and even the most "informed" kids can feel alone in this journey.
Of course there is the Bible. Life's instructions book. right? but for some people it's like handing them the instructions, but it feel like its all in a foreign language.  that's not very helpful. eventually their spiritual growth will help with the scriptures being clearer, but there is still that time when the bible stories we grow up with start to come to life and have deeper meaning and there's a transitional learning curve going on.

kids shouldn't have to go through that feeling like they are alone in this confusing time.

I hope like crazy that we will have the kinds of relationships with our kids that are open enough to discuss these things. That I'll be able to "translate" the "instruction book" when it gets confusing or unclear and that our kids will find us approachable and open to hearing anything they have concerns about.

just some food for thought after talking about helping the teens with identifying in Christ.

#BELONG

Adam and I will be celebrating 11 amazing years of marriage this year. This month actually.
When we were dating and just out of high school, it started to press on our hearts that some day we would be youth leaders. I think we both knew we had a little bit of growing up to do first, and then there was the matter of, you know, finding a church that had a need for leaders...and while we did serve as volunteer/leaders at our church for a little while, and loved every minute of that taste of ministry, we were moved across the country and didn't see an opportunity again.

Here we are. God moved us to a new neighborhood. We've been hear a year, we have found a church to call home and we are getting plugged in. At first I wasn't even thinking "youth group" when I was looking for a place to get plugged in. Honestly I was looking for a place to escape my chaos at home. A place to be quiet, and grow spiritually. I had been involved in the women's ministry at Fusion before and that was the logical place to start. When I found the "crocheting for Jesus" group I about died of nerdy excitement! combining my love for creating yarny things with a ministry!? And the other women were older, so I had this opportunity (expectation) of some spiritual mentoring. I had envisioned these quiet evenings where we ole' bitties sat around crocheting and talking about life, and God and it would be relaxing and quiet and peaceful, and quiet (did I mention quiet?) and I would get a BREAK! The fact that they (very unofficially, because it's a church group) called themselves the Happy Hookers was just icing on this little cake of yarn covered happiness.

What I didn't know...was that the call of the youth ministry down the hall during my quiet, relaxing night of crocheting would eventually steal my heart. I had such a hard time walking past the youth room to the Happy Hooker room (seriously...the name never gets old). In fact, the first night I went, I found myself in the youth room standing there, watching the kids and listening to them, and feeling such joy in just standing there. I probably looked like a crazy creepy person just standing there, bag of yarn and hooks in hand, silently staring..watching. (yes... that does scream creepy...especially since I was standing right in the middle of it all..rather than in a corner or off to the side) I didn't know at the time, what that meant for me, I honestly kind of shrugged it off, said "too bad it's the same night as crocheting.." and walked on to the other room where yarn, hooks and quiet awaited. (Just a side note...the "Happy Hookers" group was not what I'd expected, it was not quite what I'd hoped for).

It took me a couple of months...but at last, I finally couldn't fight the pull down that hall anymore. I don't know if the discontentment with the Happy Hookers was the Spirit's way of moving me along, but the tugs on the heartstrings couldn't be ignored any longer. Adam too, was beginning to feel them, so...we took the plunge.

Just a few weeks after initially introducing ourselves, partaking in a leaders meeting to "just see if it'll be something we want to do" and attending a few nights of youth saturated chaos...another leaders meeting (where I'm pretty sure they were testing us...the "horror" stories could have easily scared us away...instead it made us even more excited about being part of it) and last night I got my youth sweatshirt. I know to the other leaders, it may not have been that big of a deal. I had said "wow I love this shirt" and they happened to have an extra one they threw my way...but to me it's like I'm finally doing what has been on my heart. It took TEN YEARS to find a church to serve in like this and I know the timing is just right. I don't think I could have been a good leader during those years of child rearing....but now that that chapter is closing...this new chapter is opening and I cannot wait to see what God is going to do.

I finally #BELONG!

KEY WOMEN

AnneVoskamp wrote a marvelous blog post describing this idea of a movement among women in the church. This Idea about being Key Women.
She begins by describing a scene we can all relate to. A neighbor stops by unexpectedly.  All she can think of is the “Mount Rushed LaundryMore” , the unmade bed,  her unkempt style  of  “rooster tailed ,comckamamie hair” and the “rumpled t-shirt” she’s wearing.   a part of her life that is so not “Pintrest pretty” is being exposed  and it’s quite embarrassing and humbling.  Then it “hits her”
She writes:
I have no idea why all us neighbours and women down the street and across the table keep holding each other to a standard of perfection instead of letting us all be held by the arms of grace.
No idea why don’t we call a cease-fire to the constant women wars, stop the missile volley of judgement, subtle and not so subtle, that we hurl across the playgrounds and church foyers and back fences and front porches and screens at each other?
No idea why it’s taken me so long and why I keep forgetting:
Judging others is a blindfold that blinds us to our own grime and blinds us to the grace which others are as eligible and entitled to as we are.
If I have loved breathing in grace for me, how can I deny you the same oxygen?
Who of us isn’t a hypocrite in metamorphosis? Who of us is who he wants to be — yet?
Earth is our chrysalis. We all can get to fly away to glory, a loosening of slippery bindings. (It is in the space of aloneness that the caterpillar has space to grow wings. Never fear the aloneness — it’s a way you’re given a way to fly.) There are unlikely wings unfolding unseen everywhere.
We can’t notice in days what is happening in years — there can be this becoming someone different, someone remade. 
We need Key Women in our lives who emancipate us from crushing expectations. 
Key Women who unlock the courtrooms where we’re judged and assessed and weighed on these scales that feel like millstones around our necks, Key Women who believe that 
we can change,
 things can change, 
kids can change, 
minds can change, 
the world can change.
There could be this rising of Key Women who are soul abolitionists, who end the enslavement of women to the self-appointed judges, Key Women who unlock and unleash women to transform into their own unique calling and giftedness.
 Because — if you aren’t encouraging women to live out their particular calling, you may just be idolizing a particular idealized form of yourself.
There could be Key Women who turn to their sisters and unlock everything with their own anthem coming like a freedom song:
I won’t judge you for dishes in your sink and shoes over your floor and laundry on your couch.
I won’t judge you for choosing not to spend your one life weeding the garden or washing the windows or working on organizing the pantry.
I won’t judge you for 
the size of your waist,
 the flatness, bigness, cut or color of your hair,
 the hipness or the matronliness of your clothes,
 and I won’t judge whether you work at a stove, 
a screen, 
a store,
 a steering wheel,
 a sink
 or a stage.
I won’t judge you for where you are on your road, won’t belittle your offering, your creativity, your battle, your work.
The key to the future of our communities, our culture, the church is whether there are Key People — people who will not imprison with labels and boxes but will unlock with key words, with key acts of freeing.
There could be Key Women who link arms with their sisters and say we will be the few Key Women:Key Women release you by not judging your mothering, your cooking, your cleaning, your clothing, your kids.
Key Women liberate you from cages and boxes and echo chambers in your head.
Key Women free you to be your best you, your unbound you, your beautiful you.
We are not here to be perfect. We are here to be real – to let Christ be real in us.
Like there’s this movement of women who have a key to open up our doors and come in —- and let us go free.


This is my desire. I want to have these kinds of relationships, to be known as the kind of woman described here, to be part of this movement. Perhaps moving to this new area and being in the kind of neighborhood that is a little out of my comfort zone is the beginning of something. Like I was put here to make waves.