Originally from 11-15-2011
So after having to discipline Abigail for one thing or
another. You know that daily Naptime tantrum?
They couldn’t possibly get their rest without it. We were having one of
those moments. After I was able to get her to calm down, take a few breaths,
stop screaming, and FOCUS!...I explained to her, why she had to be disciplined.
I really thought I was getting somewhere, she was looking at me in eye, face
serious, focused on my words with an occasional nod. When I was through talking
she replies in stone cold serious tone :
“I just have to call you Miss Panigan.”
(knowing she is referring to Ms. Hannigan from Annie) I say:
“Okay. But why Ms. Hannigan?”
“Because she is mean! And the bad guy.” Tears welling up
in her big blue eyes, she blinks them away.
“I’m sorry you feel that way about Mommy, but if that is
what you need to do. That is okay. “
She looks at me and with a little tear…she calmly says ,
“Ms. Hannigan.”
I take a deep breath. Accepting my “insult” and walk out the
door. As I shut it I hear:
“And I had to call you a blabber head too because
you’re just mean!” and then she shoves her head in her pillow and covers her
face.
She never said “Blabber head” out loud. Maybe she was just
thinking it!?
And to that I just shut the door calmly and left her for her
nap. Shoulders sagging just a little
bit.
Now normally I wouldn’t allow her to get away with calling
me names or talking to me this way. But I decided to choose my battles. Not to
mention that in this conversation, I got a few things.
She communicated with me…she told me how she was feeling and
how she felt about me in the situation we were in. It wasn’t very nice, but she was being honest
and taking a risk with it. I wanted her to see that she can come to me with her
emotions, her frustrations, and communicate them to me without fearing getting
into trouble with what she has to say.
We kind of struggle with that already, “use your words…don’t just get
frustrated and start screaming…talk to me” and she did.
She has self control…she really does, because she stayed
calm through the whole conversation. She was trying very hard to control her
emotions. While her words weren’t
exactly “nice” we can work on that later.
I think God has a great way of working through things too. I
saw in myself, my own self control. And hearing her “name calling” and
explaining to me why…I had a moment to reflect on how I really was talking to
her and treating her. Yes I did the right thing with disciplining her and I
wasn’t “sorry” for that, there is just some behavior that will not be
tolerated, but I can look at other moments in the day where I might be a little
hard on her, or overreacting to something that just isn’t necessary. Maybe
sometimes I do look or sound like Ms Hannigan to her. At least she knows she
can communicate that to me now.
