I have recently really felt the push toward women's ministry lately. We don't have one yet in our church, but my dear friend Sarah and I have felt lead to persue making it happen.
In this small task we have been given, planning a Womens Retreat in a few short weeks, the idea of Martha and Mary keeps coming up. It's not the core topic of our weekend get away, but just part of it. Anyway, I decided to pick up the book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" and thought it might be interesting and a helpful resource in some of our planning process.
It has proven to be a pretty good book so far. I am still only a few chapters into it, but I had an experience happen last week that I feel is totally worth sharing.
So I'm reading in this book about how distractions can really get in the way of our focus on God, and what He wants us to do. It goes on to describe a short story about a priest who has an extremely successful ministry happening at his church, and everything is on the straight and narrow...doing everything according to God's purpose. So Satan sends his demons to destroy this ministry. They try evertyhing they know to do this, but the priest's faith is strong and they fail. They report back to Satan that they've tried everything they know but still failed "his faith is too strong"...Satan replies with "you fools. go back and whisper in his ear the news of his brothers promotion..." They do so, and wouldn't you know it, the scheme worked. The priest started doubting himself, and feelings of jealousy over his brothers accomplishment distracted him to a point that the ministry fizzled. Satan knows exactly what buttons to push, what whispers to tell that would cut to the core of our weaknesses causing us to feel distracted, doubtful, and eventually undoing all that we've worked so hard for.
Immediately after reading this little snippit, I continue with my day. This particular day, the kids were particularly whiny. It took me over an hour to read two or three pages out of this book, because of the interruptions, fighting, screaming, arguing...I was feeling extremely tested to say the least. With this concept of "Satan working hard to distract us when we're on the right path" in mind, I gave my morning over to God, and allowed Him to provide me the patience and loving attitude I needed to get through these tested moments with the kids. Abby screaming at me angrily because she didn't have any clean dresses to wear, the boys hitting and pestering each other, everyone ignoring everything coming out of my mouth, you know the normal chaotic stuff. I handled it with grace, patience and an overwhelmingly calm, loving attitude. I caught myself in that state and thanked God for helping me. I was feeling very good about it all. Then Satan found his way in.
I have an irrational fear of spiders. It sounds so ridiculous for me to completely lose my cool and allow my whole day to come crashing down on me over a spider the size of a quarter, but alas, that was his way in. I had finally gotten everyone dressed and at the door putting shoes on, when I came face to face with this little day wrecker. After almost having a heart attack, then getting the kids to finally listen to to quick command of "get up to the livingroom now! it's an emergency!" I had completely lost my mind. I started crying, shaking, the kids were like "what is wrong with you? do we need to call 9-1-1?" (they associate "emergency" with calling the fire fighters....) I sobbed..."I just need to be brave. I just need to be brave" I never did find that bravery. I ended up calling Adam home to find and kill the spider. Which didn't happen. He came home, but by the time he'd gotten here, the spider had disappeared (which is why you never take your eyes off a spider) and after a good 10 minutes or more of looking, and not seeing it, we gave up. Now on any other day, I would have just said "forget it" and stayed home rather than running whatever errand, and completetly quarantined that area of the house, avoiding it at all costs, but that day I really did have to go to the store.
As a result of this distraction, I didn't do half the work I planned/needed to (laundry, picking up the basement, cleaning the entryway..etc), Adam missed an hour of work and my confidence in my self and how God was working in me, was completely diminished. I was a failure, a coward, and totally ridiculous for being that way over a stupid bug.
It is really cool (now looking back) to see how much truth was in what I'd read that morning. I have come out of this whole situation (after a few days to recover and get my act back together) feeling even more confident in the direction I'm headed with the womens ministry, and in my daily walk.
I had even had a dream that involved serious spiritual warfare, and my thoughts again were "Satan will NOT distract me again" I am standing firm in the Lord and am even more determined to not let these distractions get the best of me again.
I going to try to add some extra prayer time in my day, to keep me sharp and ready to take on any other attacks that come my way.
